Anyway, my whole situation makes me want to go out and get a gun...

No...  Not because of the situation in online poker.  But because I went from a house where geese kept crapping all over my lawn to a house where ducks keep crapping on the side of my pool.  We have a gate around the pool.  But when ducks see water, they have this ability to do this thing called... fly.  So the gate is great for keeping kids out of the pool - doesn't work as well for ducks.  Granted, duck poo is waaay smaller than geese poo.  But still!  And they don't give a shit (literally) about Stumpy (on left).  And those suckers are waaay faster than geese.  Even with all the excess baggage I'm carrying, I was pretty sure I could catch one of the geese at our old house, but there is just no way I can catch one of these ducks.

So I had to resort to spraying water at them on the "jet" setting of my hose.  It worked on two of the ducks, but one of them just stared me down.  He kind of had that "LOL.  You know I'm a semi-aquatic creature, right?!?" look on his face.  I basically had to spray him for like 20 minutes before he left.  I would have sat there ALL F*CKING DAY if I had to.  The only way I was leaving before the duck was was if I left to buy a gun.  Call me a *little* stubborn.

I think it should be pretty easy to get a gun in Texas.  Also handy in case I ever find other animals by the pool...  like coyotes, sharks, Whales...  etc.  eh hem.  ;-)

Anyway, ever since the garden hose showdown, I haven't seen the ducks.

That's right!  Didn't think so.