My money management tips for people who still want to play online poker:

1)  I've said this a bunch of times before, but don't keep more money online than you need!  This may mean you stop leaving that extra $25K in the account in case that whale shows up to the NL5000 game.  But at the end of the day, this is the smart thing to do.  This also changes the equation for whether to move up in stakes.  Before, if you were winning at 4ptbb at NL200 and 2ptbb at NL400, I think it was marginally better to play the NL400 game, because that's how you get better.  But now, if it means you need to keep half as much money online, it may be better to play NL200.  The higher win rate at the lower stake also means that your drawdowns will be less.  Reloading is not as bad as you think (as long as it doesn't affect you mentally)... especially in these times where people are willing to pay a vig to get money off of many sites.  So cash out often and collect premium when you have to reload.

2) Have at least two bank accounts.  One for poker and one for your "real life" use.  Most banks have some version of a "free" checking account, so other than a little effort, this will cost you nothing.  But you will get some peace of mind.  This is useful for a bunch of reasons.  The main one is that you shouldn't have to worry if that rent check you just just wrote will bounce.  There have also been a few rare occurrences of a bank account being flagged for suspicious activity - so have a backup in place (don't be like Full Tilt).  Just avoid all of that and make sure all of your bills get paid and on time.  It's also nice to have a backup in case you can't process wires at one bank but can at another.  Or that you may be able to make a deposit with one bank's debit/credit card but not the other.  That second bank account gives you a lot more options... and it's minimal cost!

3) Always deposit your checks as soon as possible.  If my suspicions are correct on how the sites are managing to process checks, I think your odds of having a check go bad (either by DOJ intervention or other account closure) are much higher the longer you wait.

4) Whenever your first check goes thru on the poker site, request the next one right away.  This is all about process management.  I used to adjust my play (when I still played) based on the lead time.  Carbon takes 6 weeks to process a $2500 check.  So I only play on that site enough to make $2500 in 6 weeks.  Running that balance up to significantly more than you can cash out is retarded.  There are other sites and skins.

5) Did someone say other skin?  (later post)

Well, it appears that FT's gaming license has been suspended.  There are rumors they may still operate without their license.  I would imagine they are scrambling around to find a new place that would issue them a license.  But if it's true about the license suspension, then it's basically a certainty that FT will fall out of the #2 spot in the poker hierarchy.  Just wow at how poorly they ran that company.  Even if Ray Bitar was a clueless schlub, you would think he would have hired some "qualified" financial experts to manage his money.  Or at the very least, some dude in the company who wasn't a level ZERO thinker, who could actually say to themselves... "what could happen next?"  I mean he WAS sitting on a billion dollar company after all!  I hope they actually had another gaming application processing...  but I'm not holding my breath.

I'm a little annoyed that the odds of my seeing my FT money went from about 75% to way less than 50% (assuming the reports are true).  But I don't worry (too much) about things out of my control. Because even if they somehow get up and running, they will be flooded with withdrawal requests and I doubt they get much new business.  And they didn't have enough cash to begin with.  Doh!

Years from now, this could be a business school case study on how you can have the best product out there and still run the company into the ground.  There's more to running a good business than just having a good product.

I'll post some money management tips next time for those who still want to play online.  I actually have a huge backlog posts I had been wanting to put up, but I just haven't had the time.

Sad day in the land of DoubleFly Poker.  I'm going to have to stop playing poker (at least in the short term), because a number of things have come up that's been a little more pressing.  Nothing tragic - in fact, life is pretty good right now.  But I now have a lot of demands on my time.  I guess sometimes, you have to move on.  I'm still going to try and blog once or twice a week tho, because I enjoy writing about poker-related things and about the things going on around me.

Merge's Bad Beat Jackpot is now over $460,000.  That's a lot of fiddy cent contributions.  Don't be a noob and make sure you know all the facts:
* you need to use both hole cards, and the losing hand has to be 7777 or better ("qualifying hand")
* don't talk about the BBJ during the hand - you will get disqualified
* Customer Support claimed that every raked pot gets $0.50 taken out for BBJ, but I think for certain limped pots, it is not.

I never thought I'd like the BBJ, but I do.  So here are the top 3 reasons to like the BBJ:

3.  It makes the grind a little more entertaining.  Like whenever I hit a set or have any kind of straight flush draw, I find myself getting a little more excited.

2.  It's a friggin' fish magnet.  It causes decent casual players to play all kinds of suited garbage from all positions.  52s from EP?  Sure!  Why not!  You can't win if you're not in!  So I think the games are softer than without.  There is just a ton more multi-way pots because people want to be part of the BBJ.  And at the end of the day, you pay a little more for BBJ but you have a higher win rate.

1.  It's unequivocally POSITIVE EV for me!  Even without incentives for fishy play.  How so when the casino takes 10% off the top?  It's because as regs, we play most of the hands that are likely to get us the BBJ, without playing as many hands as the fish. Think of it this way... you are about FOUR times as like to make a qualifying BBJ hand with a pocket pair, than you are with a suited connector.  On top of that, a qualifying pocket pair only needs two of the community cards - a suited connector needs three.

So consider 2 players.  Player A plays 15/11 and plays all pps above 77, most (but not all) suited connectors, and some suited gappers. Player B plays 30/11 and plays every pp as well as most suited connecting cards and any two cards above a 7.  Player B will have a slightly higher chance of hitting the BBJ, but he will also be paying almost TWICE as much into the BBJ (all other things being equal about pots won).  So even tho we start off with a -10% baseline, that's more than made up for by all the fish and dopey super-lags making all the excessive BBJ contributions.  The BBJ is even better for full ring regs like me, since a higher percentage of hands we see a flop with (and pay any BBJ premium for) are eligible for the BBJ.  We basically get further subsidized by HU and 6max players.  Ka ching!

Here are some interesting tidbits:
* If you are dealt a pocket pair (42 combos), the chance of you making a qualifying hand is 0.90% (that's almost 1%).  And you only use up 2 community cards.  Regs play all of these.
* For suited broadways (like KQs) (40 combos), the chance of a 4 of a kind is 0.12% and a straight flush is 0.10%.  Regs play all of these.
* If you are dealt a "good" suited connector (54s thru T9s) (24 combos), the chance of you making a qualifying hand is 0.20% (and an extra 0.10% or so for quads, assuming the kicker on the sc is even high enough - not likely).  Regs play many of these.
* If you are dealt a "good" suited 1-gapper (like T8s), the chance of you making a qualifying hand is 0.15% (and possibly an extra 0.05% or so for quads, assuming the kicker on the sc is high enough).  Regs play many of these.
* Odds drop from there, but you still pay the same to play a hand.

There are plenty of ways to figure out probabilities like the above.  I used a itouch app called "PkrCruncher" - it was under $5 and pretty simple to use.  You can do the rest of the math yourself.

I gazed into the abyss... and the abyss wasn't that bad.  What am I talking about?  My biggest concern about moving to Texas was the heat.  We've had out first 100 degree heat wave, and it wasn't that bad.  I'm not saying standing out in the direct sunlight wasn't like sitting in an oven.  Just that it wasn't that bad.  The nice thing about Texas heat is that it's not as humid as Florida.  So comfort-wise, it's not nearly as bad as I thought.  Also, I have a few things that help me deal with the heat:

* My house is air conditioned, ldo.  But I'm generally home all day, it really doesn't matter if it gets to 120 degrees outside.  It's still 79 degrees in my house.  We used to set the thermostats to 76 degrees in CT, but I just figure acclimating ourselves to the warmer weather is best.

* Even when I go outside, I'm never standing outside for long periods of time.  It's usually just to get from my parking spot to the store or restaurant.  A nice blast of sun for a few minutes actually feels good.  I feel like yelling "BiiiirdMan!!!" every time I get out of the car.  (He got his powers from the sun)

* Most of my outdoor time is at the pool.  We usually try to use the pool in the morning where the water is like 78-80 degrees.  It's pretty refreshing.  The kids are used to getting up at 6:00-6:30 anyway (the school bus came at 7:10 - btw schools's out for summer! - later post) and it's not like anyone wants to play poker in the US mornings.  So when the markets are quiet, we all head over to the pool around 10:00.  The water is not nearly as refreshing in the late afternoon (like 85+ degrees).

* The only other time I go outside is when I have to grill, and that's under a large cabana.  It is surprising how much cooler it is in the shade than in direct sunlight.  The difference wasn't this noticeable in the NorthEast.   I'm guessing it has something to do with being further south, but I'm no scientist.

So the sun is perfectly manageable.  They say it gets to like 110 later in the summer, but I think it'll be okay.  What is just completely out of control are the friggin' hail storms.  We had a big storm last night, and my yard is a mess.  We also lost power for 10 hours (so we went to see a movie - so not so bad).  But seeing ice on your yard in the middle of a heat wave is pretty crazy.  I thought the first hailstorm was just a freak occurrence.  Apparently, it's a lot more common.

I can't believe it!  I got my first Carbon check today... only 42 days after I first requested it.  I really wasn't expecting it until later this week or some time next week.  I guess when you lower expectations to the point where it's below floor level, any news can only be positive.

Unlike some of the whiny little bitches on 2+2, it doesn't bother me *that* much if there are delays in processing - as long as the delays mean they are being careful not to give the DOJ any more excuse to steal our money.  I'm interested in playing online poker for the long haul, and I don't want to see more poker sites shut down because they were too reckless about shipping a bunch of short-sighted impatient bustos their $300 checks.  I can't stand people who make a bad situation even worse by complaining.  One guy on 2+2 says he sent customer support like 10 emails a day for a week related to the same problem...  and you wonder why customer support is so slow for the rest of us.  Thanks dude.

Now the next issue is going to be "is the check going to bounce?"  I've had probably 4 poker checks bounce on me in my poker career - all from Full Tilt.  It seems like my bank knows if it's good or not within 2 days.  This check was from a Canadian Bank - not sure if that means it'll take longer to clear.  I think I had a Canadian check before and it took less than 2 days to bounce.  But this time around, I think there's less than a 10% chance it bounces.  I'm going to be pretty annoyed if this check bounces, so I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt that it took so long because they did it right. 

In this new poker economy, as soon as a check gets approved, you have to request the next one right away, so I did that last week and you should too.  But now that Merge issued this batch, I'm hoping the next batches won't take so long.  Also, you probably should deposit it as soon as possible, and not leave it in your wallet for weeks.

I'll post some tips about money management in the post-Black Friday world of online poker in a future post.

Happy Father's Day...

... to me.  It's been a pretty good weekend so far:

* My gout is like 90% better - I've been eating a little better (later post), not drinking (as much), and getting plenty of fluids.  I still have some stiffness, swelling and soreness, but the foot is feeling much better.

*I had my best week at the trading consulting business so far.  It's still a work in progress, but I'll need something bigger than  piggy bank to keep the revenues now.

* It appears there's a good chance I could be getting *TWO* poker checks next week!  I can't believe it!  I feel like I just won the (busto) lottery.

* I spent a lot of QT with my little cuties - G and D... playing in the pool, on the driveway, and in the sunroom.  Texas is awesome (later posts).

* And I'll be spending some QT with my other cutie (Mrs Fly) later.  "Oh Nurse Fly, I seem to have some stiffness, swelling and soreness in some of my lower extremities..."
[cue 70s porn music]

Like Vito Corleone says, "a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."  Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.

So on the health front, I now weigh around 235, which is a pretty good pace for the month.  And since moving to Texas, my psoriasis is practically gone.  The dry patches are gone, but you can still see a little reddish discoloration in the skin - I think that will go away in a few months.  I guess getting some sun, warmer weather, hanging out by the pool, and losing some weight all helped.  Imagine that!

But with good new comes bad... it appears I now have gout.  I woke up the other day with a sharp pain and swelling in my right foot.  At first I thought I stubbed my toe, but the pain was more near the arch of my foot.  And for some reason, the first thing I thought of was gout, even tho I had no idea what it was.  I just remember it from an episode of the Smurfs when Papa Smurf was whining about the pain.

So after a little internet research, it sounded exactly like the symptoms I had, and the "causes" fit perfectly too.  I'm overweight.  I had been eating a lot of rich foods (especially meat and seafood) - my last meal was Mrs. Fly's pot roast.  I had been sipping wine most of the day practically every day.  It's just something about the warmer and sunnier weather that makes you want to reach for an alcoholic beverage.  Like when was the last time you sat by a pool and didn't get a drink?  Also, I hadn't really been keeping hydrated the last few days so I could see how crap could get stuck in my body with no way of getting out.

So here's the cliff notes of a conversation I had with a friend:
Me: I have gout.
Him: You should go see a doctor.
Me: I don't see the doctor unless I have a limb falling off.
...
Him: My father got gout from eating rich foods on a cruise.
Me: So what happened to him?
Him: He died 6 months later.

Umm...  Doh?

Well, apparently his dad was old(er) and lived an unhealthy lifestyle - drinking, smoking, etc.  But Mrs. Fly is going to put me on a vegetarian diet for a few days until I get better - salads, veggies, chicken, etc.  You know all the crap a meat-eater like me only eats for roughage.  And then maybe longer term, go on more balanced diet - like the South Beach, where you have whole grains, fruits and less fat.

Altho I'm not really digging how the size of that Meat wedge in the chart is so tiny.  WTF?!?  I'm pretty sure my "Meat fish and alternatives" is like 65% of the pie right now (probably explains the gout).  I don't eat grains and I don't eat much dairy.  That meat wedge looks like it's only 12.5%!!!  Hmm... I may have to reconsider...

In before someone says, "you're a mess, dude."

Poker's been going pretty well.  I actually got in a ton of hands (mostly because the markets are slow), and I found a piece of software that helps me play more tables (later post).  Also, I made a small deposit on another site and had to grind that back up - so there are some 0.25/0.5 hands in there.  LOL.  But since I never played  that stake before, it was kind of interesting.  And crushing donks is always entertaining - at any level.  I figured it would be kind of dumb to put a lot of money on a new site, so I made it a "pet project" to build that up.  Kind of like when Jesus Ferguson used to do those $1 to $10,000K challenges.  Anyway, I did $1.5K to $10K, which is obviously much easier.  But it was in like 10 days!  Unfortunately, I lost money on the first site, but whatever. 

Of course the big contrarian question to any winning graph nowadays is not "but how much did you lose?" but "but how much were you able to cash out?"  I'll provide that update later in the month.  I'm hoping $7-10K, but we'll see.  That Merge email from yesterday aside, it's been kind of a challenge and my "international outlet" hasn't materialized yet, like I had hoped.  But I'm going to keep plugging away.  Mostly because Mrs. Fly doesn't want me with too much free time.  For some reason, I have this habit of gravitating towards her in an "amiable way" when I am too idle...

Hmm...  I just did a search on Google images for "molest funny" to get the above image.  But that reminds me of this South Park episode with the chicken f*cker.  After I catch a few ducks, I *WILL* have to send the rest of them a message...  (ponder ponder ponder)

OMFG!  The world is coming to an end!

Hello "DoubleFly,"

Your $xxxx.00 Carbon Poker Check withdrawal has been approved.

Your reference number for this transaction is xxxxxxx.  If you should have any questions regarding your Carbon Poker account, please check our Frequently Asked Questions. Our support team is also available 24/7 to help with any questions you may have.

Kind Regards,
Carbon Poker Support Team

After 35 days, I finally got a check approval!  Who know what that means tho...  Could be weeks before I actually see a check and even when I get it, the check may bounce.  And LOL - those cheap bastards made me wait over a month just to get an approval, and they still took out a $15 processing fee for the check.  Now I have to go and request my next check.  Welcome to online poker post Black Friday!  I guess I shouldn't be complaining... it's not like they crapped on my pool or threw a cigarette butt on my lawn.

As my Asian buddy Lao used to say: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."  I don't think he was referring to what should be the simple process of cashing out of an online poker site tho.

[My rendition of a classic SNL skit... unfortunately, I can't find the original video, but the original audio is at the bottom of this page]

"Online poker is so complicated, you have to be a genius to understand it. You also have to be important, famous and successful. You say you're none of these? Well, then, I have one piece of advice for you - Get to know me! Get to know my likes, my dislikes. What makes me tick? What makes me me? What's my favorite color? Do I always come to life in the Spring? Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from a man who lives in Manhattan: "Dear Fly, before I got to know you, I was nothing, nowhere, nobody. I didn't have a cent to my name. In fact, I didn't have a name - I couldn't afford one. And then I got to know you, and today they call me Donald Trump!" Get to know me! What do I do in my spare time? Have I always had this much hair? Where is my secret freckle? Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from a basketball team in Texas: "Dear Fly, before we got to know you, we were nothing, nowhere, nobody. We couldn't do sh*t - especially in the playoffs. And then one day, we got to know you. We just outgritted the favorites in six games, and today they call us the World Champion Dallas Mavericks!" Get to know me! Now, here's a letter from someone who didn't get to know me: "Dear Blank, I didn't get to know you, signed Nobody." Now, I know some of you are probably thinking, "What a jerk!" Congratulations! You're getting to know me! So, remember, if you want to get to know me, get to know me!"

C'mon seriously?!?  Over a decade of playoff futility and within months of us moving to Dallas, we win a World Championship.  My luckboxing continues and is apparently transferable.  I will be selling locks of my hair for $1,000.  But if you act now, you can have that DOUBLE sized for two low payments of $350.  Act now!  Get to know me!

Speaking of me getting into a savage rage, I got into my first "verbal unpleasantries" with a Texan the other day.  I had to fire my landscaper because he just never showed up - can't cut the grass when it's wet, one of his machines are in the shop, can't find the right weed killer, whatever.  So Mrs. Fly sees another landscaping guy in the neighborhood and calls him over to the house to take a look at the yard and give me an estimate.  I meet him in the back yard (which looks like crap because it hadn't been mowed in over 2 weeks).  So as we're talking about the extent of the job and agree on the price, he's smoking a cigarette and then when he's done, he proceeds to throw it on my yard and step on it.  Thanks for the consideration - we wouldn't want to start any fires.

BUT SERIOUSLY WTF?!?  I was standing there having a normal conversation with the guy, and he decides to litter on my yard?!?  So I immediately say to the guy, "WTF are you doing?!?"  I wasn't yelling at him or anything, but I was just so stunned that some dude I was interviewing to MAINTAIN MY LAWN just f*cking LITTERED ON MY LAWN!

He then says some moronic thing about how it's biodegradeable.  So at this point, I just can't believe the unfathomable stupidity that is now flowing from his mouth.  And I say, "so I have to stare at that shit for years until it degrades?"  I wanted to say "are you a f*cking moron?!?"  but I was so disgusted, I just told him to leave.  I generally try not to waste my time with retards - it keeps the blood pressure down.

I just can't think of anything this mind blowingly stupid during an "interview." Like maybe if in the middle of an interview, I decided I needed to go to the bathroom and I decide to just pee in a potted plant in the corner of the office.  I have no idea how people that dumb could have made it thru life.

So I decided that people who litter (and in particular cigarette butts - because if you want to kill yourself then fine, but f*cking make it as zero-imprint as possible!!!) are #2 on my list of TOP 3 EVERYDAY PEOPLE WHO NEED TO BE SAVAGELY BEATEN.  #3 and #1 in later posts.

Breathe in...  Breathe out...

Okay.  I'm all right now.  :-)

As a nit-reg, I always hated things like the Bad Beat Jackpot.  I guess it seemed like it was just flushing money down the drain.  The players contribute 100% and the casino takes 10% of the BBJ, so this *has* to be -ev for the players AS A WHOLE.

This is the first time I've really played predominantly on BBJ tables so I thought I would get more details on it.  I sent Carbon an email asking how much I paid last month into the BBJ.  They replied $1,315 (after 9 days).  Yes - contrary to popular opinion, Carbon *does* have a support staff.  Umm...  I paid $2,921 in rake, and I paid 45% more into the BBJ?!?  Apparently $0.50 from every flopped pot is added to the BBJ, regardless of size!  Last month, my winnings were only $3,999, which was a win rate of 2.43BB.  The rake I paid is 1.76BB (of which I got about half back), and my BBJ contribution was 0.80BB (of which I got nada).  That's a huge chunk of my win rate that's rake and BBJ.

I hadn't really paid attention to the little details on my play on the small stakes tables before.  I mean I paid 2.73BB in rake at 0.5/1!  What the hell?!?  (later post) But I digress...

I guess I should have asked for my BBJ contribution by stake, but I don't feel like waiting another 9 days to get the reply.  Because it's all irrelevant to me.  At the end of the day, it's all about the bottom line.  And the bottom line is...

I know this sounds like the BBJ structure at Merge sucks, but in a future post, I'll show you why playing on BBJ tables is +ev.  That's right!  It's POSITIVE EV!

It's funny I brought up guns in my last post, because I will be getting a gun before the summer is out.  Things have gotten so bad that I'm finally resorting to pre-meditated murder.  I've *thought* about killing someone before - c'mon!  we all probably have.  Right?  I can't possibly be the only one?!?  (crickets chirping)  Sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do...

No.  It's not Ray Bitar (founder of FT), or anyone at the DOJ.  Altho, I wouldn't feel too safe walking outside if I were them... But I digress...

It's the f*cking ducks that keep crapping all over the side of my pool!!!  I'm a pretty emotionally even-keeled guy.  But the problem with many even-keeled guys is that when they go off the deep end, they just sink straight to the bottom.  Don't even bother with the bobbing up and down for hours and slowly sinking.  I'm like a guided torpedo straight to the abyss, baby!

You don't know how f*cking infuriating it is to wake up to a beautifully sunny day... looking outside at my little lake and nice oasis area around the pool, and off in the distance, I can see a f*cking duck walking around the pool like he owns the place.  And then he stares me down and yells over...

My parents didn't immigrate to this country so that their eldest son would have to clean the feces of animals!!!  Not sure if you guys ever watched Sesame Street where they had the "one of these things is not like the other things" segments. 

Here's mine:
* Ivy League graduate
* MBA
* Former wall street trader
* cleans animal crap on a regular basis

I know it's a tough one.  So think about it, because this post will be continued.

Ima gonna kill those f*cking ducks!!!

I hadn't done any food posts in a while, so here is my food cornucopia:

TBH, I only vaguely remember this meal.  I think it was some kind of smothered steak.  In Texas, a higher-than normal percentage of food gets smothered in some sort of gravy.  So we're fitting right in!


For some strange reason, Mrs. Fly didn't take any pictures of the food at her ladies luncheon, but here's a small sampling that she made when my "niece" (cousin's daughter) came up to visit us from Austin.  At the top are her lasagne cupcakes - she used a wonton skin as the "cup" and the rest is all lasagne.  In the middle are her individual chicken pot pies - everything from scratch (including the crust), and the bottom are her BLTs on a baguette.  It was really good noshing food.  The Texas women completely devoured all the food at her party the other day.

It was really nice seeing my niece -  I had seen her once when I went to Korea 11 years ago, and once at a wedding last year, but I hadn't spent much time with her.  She invited up a friend of hers (the bikini in the photo) and we had a little cookout.  We all had a great time by the pool, and it's nice to have a family member in the same state.  We invited up her boyfriend the next time she comes.  Not sure how I feel about that.  Part of me is like "well, she is 23 after all" and part of me is like "maybe I need to get a shotgun and have a little 'talk' with the guy."